Chapter
28 Beyond Basic Training
I
have been grounded in reality training for many years and it is easier
for me to accept the facts of living in this world.
~~
As
far as human relationships, I know none are permanent. Individuals drift
in and out of my life all the time. Some remain friends and acquaintances
for years, some for only months. I only spend a few moments with some
special people. What happens here on earth is not forever. When I no
longer have close or frequent contact with someone I enjoy and appreciate,
I am sad-a small and normal response. If it is a more permanent loss
and someone I love, I am sad and grieve-the original response plus an
after-effect.
~~
I
work hard at not becoming overwhelmed and distraught, at not allowing
the after-effect to consume me. What good would it do me? None.
The only purpose it would serve is to make me frantic and sick, in body
and mind. I cannot afford to stay in a vicious cycle of sadness and
second guessing. I have come to recognize I will never fully understand
"why" certain things happen.
~~
There
are times when I have contact with people I do not particularly enjoy.
As a realist I know it is acceptable for me not to like everyone I come
in contact with, and some people I meet will dislike me.
~~
There
are no mysteries to successful relationships. Neutralize fear and anger
and all that remain are love and respect. And, you cannot lose your
identity in a relationship when you attend to your own self-respect
and inner peace.
My
training has also helped me become realistic about the days of the year
that society has taught us are special: Valentine's day, my birthday,
Thanksgiving, Christmas holidays, etc. I used to have very high standards
about how each one of those days "should" be celebrated. I became melodramatic
if the outcome was not as I expected. Now I treat everyday of my life
as special and unique.
~~
Accepting
reality and seeing the positives in your life will bring you peace.
Chapter
29 A Spiritual Perspective
In
my own experience, the spiritual side of me could not start growing
until my mental side was aligned and in balance.
~~
At
a seminar Gary Zukav, author of Seat of the Soul, remarked that
"Spiritual, psychological and emotional growth are ALL tied together."
I know he is right. I would not be as far on my spiritual road to peace
without the solid understanding of how to relinquish the habit
of judging myself and others.
~~
Criticizing,
condemning and complaining are barriers to love. You can only give love
when you liberate yourself from anger and fear. Unconditional love means
accepting people for who they are, allowing them to be their own average.
~~
Although
I have a personal relationship with my God, the Spirit, the Universe,
I know that trust in a supreme being does not exempt me from responsibility.
My relationship with my Creator is a partnership-we are co-creators.
Each and every one of us has choices, to hold on to the thoughts and
actions that limit us, or to change, heal and grow.
Chapter
30 Stigma The Roadblock To Freedom And Health
Shame
and guilt about mental health issues are less of a barrier today than
in earlier times, but are still too prevalent around the world. I speak
from experience when I say that lack of education on the subject causes
feelings of failure and loss of self-esteem. Humiliation may cause you
to overlook your depression, anxiety, fears and anger. Stigma makes
you think that perhaps your problem will just "go away." The reality
is, these feelings will not disappear. When the next bout occurs, it
will be worse. It is not because you are weak-minded. It is because
you don't know what to do to help yourself. If you are in pain, please
do not ignore it. Don't let a false sense of pride get in the way of
healing.
~~
If
you know you are troubled, it is likely you will try to hide it. I encourage
you to reach out. The difficulties you are facing are not rare. They
are common and treatable. Don't forgo the support that is available.
~~
Seeking
help is a sign of maturity and emotional strength.
Chapter
31- Mind And Body
I
believe that the more the public accepts and understands self-help,
the more enlightened and educated they will become about mind/body healing.
The knowledge is sure to ignite more interest in self-directed care.
~~
What
we need in the mental health world is a forward thinking "Bernie Siegel."
Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., revolutionized the treatment of cancer patients.
He is a surgeon who turned his curiosity about cancer survivors into
a method. He researched the "survivors," the ones who beat the odds.
He found that patients can consciously contribute to their wellness
process and make major life improvements.
~~
In
the last decade we have seen tremendous acceptance in the area of mind/body
medicine. Being human means having a body and a mind. Body and mind
are not self-contained material objects and are no longer being studied
as separate entities. The stress we feel in today's world is not the
result of physical, but of mental exertion. More and more practitioners
are accepting the reality that the mind and body are integrally connected.
Chapter
32 In-Power
Our
lives are full of change. We never know what challenges we will have
to face in "Life School."
[this]fitness system works in all areas
and at all stages of life. Practice the methods when your body and mind
are upset. Taking charge of your thoughts will cause you to gain
power and your symptoms lose power. You will create a personal aura
filled with freedom and confidence.
~~
Fill
your life with experiences, not excuses!